Hard-working husbands

My husband is a very hard-working guy. He’s so great with customer service as an IT guy because he has a heart for helping people and can’t say no. He makes getting things done right a priority for everyone. These are really great qualities for someone to have, particularly in a “service” type industry and being self-employed.

Unfortunately, because he enjoys serving, he has about 4-5 major projects he has committed to for his two biggest clients, one of which he promised to have complete in a week where a few months would have been ideal. On top of all that, he’s trying to grow his business, train employees to take some of his load (which requires time and effort that he doesn’t have), and just keep up with daily/routine maintenance of IT/computer systems with his clients, not to mention all the back end maintenance of running a business that isn’t billable work. He regularly works 60-80 hour weeks and usually only has one day off on the weekends.

All this to say, sometimes the wife gets put on hold as he’s trying to keep up with all the work he has to do. I’m so very proud of him for his hard work, his willingness to do what is right by everyone, and his commitment to provide for our family. I knew he was a workaholic when we got married, and I expected this. However, I hadn’t really fully discovered at that point that quality time is my #1 love language. He makes me feel loved by spending undistracted time with me, even if it’s just sitting on the couch watching tv. (Aside: his love language is acts of service, in case it wasn’t obvious with his choice of profession. And his hobby is his work: he couldn’t stop doing computer stuff if he tried.)

I never for one minute doubt that Kevin loves me, even if I don’t see much of him for a week. It has never been a question in my mind or my heart. But if I don’t get to see him much, my “love tank” starts running dry, and I strongly need for him to be around. During these times I become more of an annoyance to him because I come into the office to talk for a minute or sit and work on my computer while he’s working, and it distracts him from what he needs to do.

Through all this I am learning to desire my Heavenly Husband more, and to rely on Him for comfort and fulfillment. I’m also seeking for ways to be a better, more supportive wife by not distracting him, finding ways to help him out, and in general being there to save his sanity. That doesn’t mean I don’t have needs or that he should completely ignore me in order to “provide” us. We just need to find that balance. Maybe it will take a lifetime. But that’s okay, because as we figure this out and learn more about each other, we will refine our ways of loving each other. He understands my need for time and does his best to balance his time.

I am praying for patience for the next week or so, as I will not get to see much of him. Being mentally prepared for long periods of him working late and not being around much helps, though, and he gave me advanced warning that this was coming. And thankfully, we will have 5 days of vacation after next week in which he won’t be able to work much (probably limited cell signal up in the mountains of AZ, and likely no internet).

I am thankful that God brought Kevin into my life, and I wouldn’t change a thing about him, because that would make him someone he’s not. We’re both a work in progress, and it’s fun to figure out this thing called life together.