Have you ever had one of those "life-changing" experiences? I have. They were times where God opened my eyes to something bigger than myself, beyond my daily existence, and demonstrated His power and glory through my service to Him.
Have you ever come back from those experiences and said "I'll never look at this/be the same"? I have.
Here's the rub: if your heart of hearts has not changed years later, was it really a "life-changing" experience? Was it just the "mountain-top" high before you came back down to real life? For a while, these things seemed to permanently change my heart, but these days apathy discontent seems to be the consuming attitude in me.
I've been thinking this week about these events in my life. The first one was a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, my junior year of high school to build houses for local Mexican families that were in need. It changed my perspective on how much I truly have and how little I appreciated the provisions in my life. For a long time, I had a spirit of thankfulness and appreciation, and got annoyed at the other students at my private school that had attitudes of entitlement from growing up in well-provided-for families. Do I still have that mindset 12 years later?... Not really. I fight a daily battle to be content, and some days are better than others. I'm particularly thinking of some changes financially that may be coming in the next year, and in my heart I am not content with the way things need to be.
The other experience took place when I was a prayer counselor with Impact my sophomore year of high school (see my blog post on Impact). The summary: God changed the way I view prayer. He showed me that a life of prayer is sweet music in His ears, and that the prayers of the faithful have power. Also, through the way He led me to the prayer team, He taught me total dependence on Him and to trust in His best plan. Am I still there 10? Not as much as I'd like to be. I've recently been trying to make prayer a more integral part of my life, and have had some things to focus on in my conversations with God. The funny thing about prayer is that when you start praying for something/someone consistently, God changes your heart towards it/him/her and softens the hardness that can set in when life gets distracting.
I'm still learning these things (re-learning, if you will). The trigger this week is my church's high school youth group spring break mission trip into LA to serve and work with homeless ministries in place there. I've been getting updates about the work God is doing the past 2 days, and I know this experience will change the hearts of these kids. But based on my experiences and where I am today, I hope and pray that this experience will make a lasting effect on their hearts so that they are never again hardened to people in need. I pray this for myself as well, and the sermons of the last few months at my church have been exactly what I needed to hear to start chipping away at the wall of apathy I've put up in my heart. I used to be so in tune with God and over the years I've lost that fire, largely due to life's distractions and responsibilities.
So pray for the students this week, that God will use them in the lives of the people they come in contact with as well as that He will leave them permanently changed for His good. And pray that my hard heart will yield to His pressure through the influence of the students and His Word and work and circumstances in my life.
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